Ms. Super Lame!

"Do you ever analyze your dreams?"
"No" she said, as she began to develop clarity that there would be no second date
"I love dreams. You never analyze them?"
"I never really think about my dreams..." at this point she might have been questioning if she should let me drive her home
"What do you like?"
"Guitars" all red flags had gone off, clearly her and I weren't going to work.

It was at this point in time I realized that this conversation was going to be lame lame lame. We went from the awesomeness of a potential conversation about dreams and their analysis (as I had brought up) to the dead end road of "guitars". Her attractiveness made it difficult to accept the reality. The conversation was lame. I think both of us would have been better off just looking at each other... I was stuck in a world of contradiction. On one level she was really attractive, yet every angle I went to make the conversation awesome was thwarted by her "cloud of lame". Ideally I would have just liked to stare at her but then this would be really awkward. So there i was stuck with a whole half a sandwich a handful of fries to finish before I could end this awkwardness.

I'm the type of person who doesn't do great with silence. Actually, I do horrible with it. I grew up in a family where the word "silence" is used so we can better hear the already blaring television in the background. A common strategy to quiet someone in the car is to turn the radio up... In my family this simply establishes a competition between the speaker and the radio... Which the speaker always wins because my cars volume maxes out at 60 and well my family... they don't max out.

Back to the story: here is the other dilemma, I was hungry. Therefore I wasn't going to leave food on my plate. I had to manage a conversation with Ms. Super Lame Conversation (appropriatelly capitalized as this should have been her birthname), finish my food, and somehow make her like me (because I have an ego and although I had no desire for a second date I still wanted her to want one).

Here is where things get really F'ed up! Even though I had no desire to go on a second date with this woman I wanted her to want to go on a second date with me. Clearly we didn't match. She thought dreams were lame and I thought she was lame. Yet, somewhere inside of me I found it incredibly insulting that she might not want a second date... So how could I end it? I needed to see if she wanted a second date, but not actually go on a second date.

The 30 seconds it took to drop her off felt like 30 seconds. I can't remember what either of us said but i'm sure it was a huge waste of both of our time. She got out of the car prior to me being able to lock in that she wanted a second date. Now I was stuck with the reality that this woman of epic lame proportions did not want a second date with me.

So goes the incredible contradictions of my pychology... I go on a date with a girl I don't ever want to go on a second date with yet feel extremely insulted that she doesn't want to go on a second date with me.