"Do you ever analyze your dreams?"
"No" she said, as she began to develop clarity that there would be no second date
"I love dreams. You never analyze them?"
"I never really think about my dreams..." at this point she might have been questioning if she should let me drive her home
"What do you like?"
"Guitars" all red flags had gone off, clearly her and I weren't going to work.
It was at this point in time I realized that this conversation was going to be lame lame lame. We went from the awesomeness of a potential conversation about dreams and their analysis (as I had brought up) to the dead end road of "guitars". Her attractiveness made it difficult to accept the reality. The conversation was lame. I think both of us would have been better off just looking at each other... I was stuck in a world of contradiction. On one level she was really attractive, yet every angle I went to make the conversation awesome was thwarted by her "cloud of lame". Ideally I would have just liked to stare at her but then this would be really awkward. So there i was stuck with a whole half a sandwich a handful of fries to finish before I could end this awkwardness.
I'm the type of person who doesn't do great with silence. Actually, I do horrible with it. I grew up in a family where the word "silence" is used so we can better hear the already blaring television in the background. A common strategy to quiet someone in the car is to turn the radio up... In my family this simply establishes a competition between the speaker and the radio... Which the speaker always wins because my cars volume maxes out at 60 and well my family... they don't max out.
Back to the story: here is the other dilemma, I was hungry. Therefore I wasn't going to leave food on my plate. I had to manage a conversation with Ms. Super Lame Conversation (appropriatelly capitalized as this should have been her birthname), finish my food, and somehow make her like me (because I have an ego and although I had no desire for a second date I still wanted her to want one).
Here is where things get really F'ed up! Even though I had no desire to go on a second date with this woman I wanted her to want to go on a second date with me. Clearly we didn't match. She thought dreams were lame and I thought she was lame. Yet, somewhere inside of me I found it incredibly insulting that she might not want a second date... So how could I end it? I needed to see if she wanted a second date, but not actually go on a second date.
The 30 seconds it took to drop her off felt like 30 seconds. I can't remember what either of us said but i'm sure it was a huge waste of both of our time. She got out of the car prior to me being able to lock in that she wanted a second date. Now I was stuck with the reality that this woman of epic lame proportions did not want a second date with me.
So goes the incredible contradictions of my pychology... I go on a date with a girl I don't ever want to go on a second date with yet feel extremely insulted that she doesn't want to go on a second date with me.
Friday, October 8, 2010
The Truth
"You have hair right there?"
"Where?" she said, providing me the opportunity to save myself
"right there!" I stated this as pointed just below her nose and above her lip.
I obviously failed the opportunity she gave me to retreat from my totally inappropriate statement. I was in 8th grade and I can't recall what compelled me to tell the attractive blonde in the backseat that she had peachfuzz... But I did it anyways.
"so you aren't going to spend the night?"
"No. I can't"
"Why not?" he explained with dissappointment"
"Because I'm growing"
somehow my friend left the conversation extremely offended saying something along the lines of "you always have some bull %$# excuse". I was in 6th grade. There was logic behind my statement. I had been sick a lot lately and my mother had explained to me it was because I was growing alot and it made me more vulnerable to becoming sick... I just left this out of the conversation... I got uninvited to his party.
"do i look fat?"
"..."
"DO I LOOK FAT?"
"..."
I hoped my silence would either magically conjure up a change of subject or give me the time to formulate the proper approach. Needless to say, my sister still hasn't completely forgiven me... That was 10 years ago.
"you are attractive" I explained rationally and matter of factly
"ummm. Thanks" she responded awkwardly.
"do you want to have sex with me? We can do it at my place." My matter of fact manner continued.
She walked away. My ex girlfriend and I had been together for 5 years. We had recently broke up. I thought it was simple. If an attractive girl came up to me and asked me "will you have sex with me?" I would undoubtedly say "yup". With the ill informed concept that all women think like me I simply decided to approach the attractive girl at the bar with the same proposal I would like to recieve. Turns out women don't think the exact same way I do.
This is my life. I tell the truth... Maybe too much. I don't ever lie. There are benefits and disadvantages. I'm not over the top. I don't have bad intentions. I just choose to say the reality as it pertains to me rather then conjuring up a false one... Recently I've begun to notice this need to tell the truth allows for quite a humorous life. These are my stories.
"Where?" she said, providing me the opportunity to save myself
"right there!" I stated this as pointed just below her nose and above her lip.
I obviously failed the opportunity she gave me to retreat from my totally inappropriate statement. I was in 8th grade and I can't recall what compelled me to tell the attractive blonde in the backseat that she had peachfuzz... But I did it anyways.
"so you aren't going to spend the night?"
"No. I can't"
"Why not?" he explained with dissappointment"
"Because I'm growing"
somehow my friend left the conversation extremely offended saying something along the lines of "you always have some bull %$# excuse". I was in 6th grade. There was logic behind my statement. I had been sick a lot lately and my mother had explained to me it was because I was growing alot and it made me more vulnerable to becoming sick... I just left this out of the conversation... I got uninvited to his party.
"do i look fat?"
"..."
"DO I LOOK FAT?"
"..."
I hoped my silence would either magically conjure up a change of subject or give me the time to formulate the proper approach. Needless to say, my sister still hasn't completely forgiven me... That was 10 years ago.
"you are attractive" I explained rationally and matter of factly
"ummm. Thanks" she responded awkwardly.
"do you want to have sex with me? We can do it at my place." My matter of fact manner continued.
She walked away. My ex girlfriend and I had been together for 5 years. We had recently broke up. I thought it was simple. If an attractive girl came up to me and asked me "will you have sex with me?" I would undoubtedly say "yup". With the ill informed concept that all women think like me I simply decided to approach the attractive girl at the bar with the same proposal I would like to recieve. Turns out women don't think the exact same way I do.
This is my life. I tell the truth... Maybe too much. I don't ever lie. There are benefits and disadvantages. I'm not over the top. I don't have bad intentions. I just choose to say the reality as it pertains to me rather then conjuring up a false one... Recently I've begun to notice this need to tell the truth allows for quite a humorous life. These are my stories.
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